I might die tonight
I don’t expect to
But I might…
I’m old.
I have my diseases.
I could go tonight,
I’m eligible;
It’s not terrible.
We all must leave,
But before I leave
Just in case it’s tonight
Here’s my last prayer.
Hear me, I pray:
Hear me say
shema yisrael
Thanks for today
And yesterday:
Thanks for the mother,
the father in our Tabernacle
of love
And the sister,
The brothers
In that Tabernacle
Of love
Thanks for Annette,
my love, my wife,
for her lovingkindness.
Netti, you are in my mind tonight.
My children so dear,
Do you feel, do you hear
The pulse of my love
Tonight,
As every night?
To the children of my children
You will not know until
Your own children
Have children
How you’ve sweetened
This, the evening of my life.
If I’m to depart tonight
Let me today spare
For one in need
A kind face,
A kind deed.
Let me leave to my world
A smile, a laugh
As an epitaph.
howardgoldenberg 
I truly hope I do not have to silently grieve for you from this day on. The pain I feel would be overwhelming because you are in my fantasy life that only I am aware of. Who in my real world would understand my love? My connection? My gratitude? It will be my solitary alone life and I who wade through the days ahead. I feel guilty even mentioning the pain I will experience. I have no blood right. I am so grateful to have met you. I suppose the good thing is that you and your wonderful wife have shown me my path to me. I hope you did not die. I don’t understand the world and what people do to each other. If someone watches us from out there in the universe somewhere, how much head shaking disbelief would they feel. They might focus on one pious Jew who has too much love to give. They might see the light he shows to others and they might stop being so much in despair of what will happen to us. Oh don’t die yet. There is too much to be done.
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I hope you aren’t eligible for a long time yet my friend. That was a hard read for me xx
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Wow HowardTh
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It is a deep touching prayer Howard, friend of our friends Bob Spencer and Pat. It has been a sad two or three years to see your home country reduced with little hope for the future. This earth isn’t meant to be our focus.. it is the heavenly Jerusalem where the King resides where there are no tears. We will then understand it all.
From Sheila Whittam
>
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That is beautiful Howard. I mad em emotional and reflective. I re-read it several times to let it sink in. Thank you for your words and thoughts. You have done a lot for many people. You are amazing.
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Here’s hoping you are ineligible for a long time yet my dear friend x
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