Long in the Tooth

To celebrate our wedding anniversary (tantrum warning; see footnote) my wife and I arranged to spend an intimate weekend in a sleepy coastal village an hour or two from Sydney. At our advanced stage of life our offspring seek to protect us from any reckless or imprudent intimacy, and so it was our Sydney family joined us in the seaside cottage.
Annette and I married forty-six years ago, when she was twenty years of age and I was twenty three. We were children, who did not know each other; in fact we did not know ourselves. 
I did some arithmetic recently and realised we have been married for 66.66*% of my life. Annette’s percentage is even higher. We thought the marriage a good idea at the time and I think it a good idea still.
After so many years it is delightful to make fresh discoveries of one’s bride. On Day One of our anniversary weekend I disturbed Annette in the bathroom after lunch. I saw she was brushing her teeth. I said, ‘I didn’t know you brushed your teeth after lunch. I thought I was the only person in the world who did that. If I had known I’d have spread toothpaste on your brush when I did mine.’

With her sweet mouth foaming dentrifice attractively , Annette replied, ‘I always brush after lunch.’

On Day Two I went to the bathroom to perform my midday oral toilet and found my toothbrush, freshly spread with toothpaste. 
From brusher, with love.   
FOOTNOTE: TANTRUM.
THIS IS OUR FORTY SIXTH ANNIVERSARY. IT IS NOT NOT NOT OUR ‘FORTY SIX YEAR ANNIVERSARY’. THERE IS NO SUCH THING. THERE CAN NEVER BE SUCH A THING AS A ‘ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY’ OR (HEAVEN FORBID) A ‘HALF-YEAR ANNIVERSARY’ OR (SAINTS AND REBBES PRESERVE US) A THREE MONTH ANNIVERSARY’. WHY NOT?

BECAUSE ‘ANNIVERSARY’ MEANS ‘TURNING OF A YEAR’; HENCE FORTY SIX YEAR ANNIVERSARY IS A TAUTOLOGY AND AN OFFENCE AGAINST LOGIC AND MEANING.
END OF TANTRUM.

13 thoughts on “Long in the Tooth

    • As tantrum is singular Plural might be tantra; Which points mind’s fingula To rhymes betimes with mantra

      So, good HCG, How might it be If we’d unite In grammar’s fight And indulge in occasional tantra?

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

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  1. As I started to read wishing to join with yourself and the “bride” in celebrating, I thought,” What is it about our blindfolded society that we cannot still enjoy communal sex? as we “age”? then as I read further, I realised it wasn’t as I’d thought, but teeth brushing??? I also brush mine after the “Bride” and I have celebrated our 58th!! as I’ve found the bits between the plates and gums can cause a bit of grumpiness! Beautiful kids! enjoy. xxxxx

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    • David

      Thank you for this warm and witty message

      I have been groping for a witty response and not put my hand on any

      Returning your warmth only with cold silence

      Wilson’s prom in eArly March will be warm, however

      Margot is coming

      JJM too

      You?

      RSVP

      Love

      Bergs

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