A User’s Guide to the Novel Virus

Be Comforted

No lesser authority than the President of the United States of America has declared: Coronavirus is a hoax

It’s a Democrat hoax.

Fake news.

PANIC

You’ll never be lonely

You need 15 minutes within one metre of an infected person to contract the virus: therefore, book a short appointment with your doctor, undress in the car, and get out of there within 14 minutes.

Same advice applies to dentist, physio, chiro, osteo, and sex worker.

Do you know whether or not you actually have COVID-19?

Your doctor doesn’t know either.

To can find out without a test kit, just book an extended appointment.

Unfortunately during lockdown you will be unable to pay any bills.

Only kiss your enemies. The worse you like them, the better you should kiss them.

5 thoughts on “A User’s Guide to the Novel Virus

  1. Good evening, Howard.
    Does anyone actually listen to Donald (Duck/Trump)? Come to think of it, the duck probably makes much more sense.
    God’s blessings to you and yours.
    Rudi Leibel.

    Like

    • Rudi

      He is such an extreme. He amazes me daily.
      He appals me. He allows space for me to praise others simply because they appal me less.
      I made a resolution not to speak his name so long as he occupies the White House. He is America’s sick practical joke on itself. That great nation mocks itself.
      Bring back little Georgie Bush!

      Like

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