My mother, Yvonne, was famously late for everything.
One day, her sister, Doreen, visited Mum; it was the day before Mum was to undergo surgery. In old age, the two sisters always got together on the eve of any hospitalization of either one of them, in case the patient ‘pegged out’, as they put it.

Doreen was examining the contents of Mum’s jewellery box; Mum was indicating which piece would go to whom if she were to peg out.
Doreen held up pretty pendant watch on a gold chain. She said, “Yvonne, this is lovely. You should wear this watch more often.”
Dad, hearing this and all too aware of Mum’s tardiness, laughed:” Yvonne doesn’t know how to tell the time.”

“Yes, I do”, said Mum, “I just don’t approve of it.”